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  • Sierra Christensen

Being a Parent...PART ONE.

#parenting #mamalife #joblisting #qualifications #Jesus #Bible


Being a parent is HARD. You have to be on call 24/7, and you don't get overtime pay. Raising children is a life-long commitment that is not for the faint of heart. The job description of a parent? Glad you asked. JOB LISTING Title: Parent Pay: $0 Experience: None Education: None Must-haves: -Needs to be flexible, as this position is constantly changing -Just when you think you've got it figured out, your child enters into a new phase that is totally unlike the one they just grew out of -Needs to think fast and act quickly -Needs the patience of a saint -Able to de-escalate a toddler's your offspring's lifetime BIG emotions and tantrums -Know the ins-and-outs of child development -Be constantly available to the child...NO MATTER WHAT! (You have another job outside the home? So what? You need to clean the house? Nope. You have to use the restroom? Guess you're bringing the child in with you, or you're going to find out what FUN they can get into while out of your sight for 30 seconds…) Common Tasks: -Feed infant when he/she cries -Change diapers constantly as dirty or wet -Put cream on booty to keep said area from getting an awful rash -Dress in clean clothes daily (none of that running around in a diaper business!! GASP!) -Wash all dirty clothes, bedding, burp cloths, etc....basically every inch of material that can be spit up on and dirtied -Know how to swaddle and calm baby -Sing lullabies, read books, come up with new and creative ideas of interacting with baby every minute of every day of every week of every year...you get the idea. -Provide developmentally stimulating activities so that baby does not fall behind, and preferably teach them Mandarin and French while you do tummy time -Never sleep again...this job listing is a 24 hr, 7 days position! -Coordinate playdates...but make sure that you plan an organic, developmentally-stimulating, fun, creative, healthy, craft-heavy activity that will be the envy of the other playdate attendees' parents -Teach language, essential life skills, manners, writing, math, history, etc. DO NOT leave any area at 'average with peers'! -Find the best daycares, nannies, schools, etc. so they can go to the best colleges, graduate schools, etc. -Enroll child in multiple extracurriculars that will develop a well-rounded future citizen...sports, music lessons, recreational activities… -Transport child to all above activities and school and friends' houses -Multiple others, as there are 18 years of life to cover while at home...hopefully only 18! And even after they move out, these common tasks take on continuing essential needs; this is a lifetime contract!



HOW in the world can one be qualified for a position like this??! Parents have to keep the tiny humans alive, but those tiny humans don't necessarily come with a manual that provides the answers to the continually worrying questions that come up multiple times a day. The brief pamphlet they give you for Poison Control and the Nurse Line just doesn't cut it. All kidding aside, I think we all have the moments where we feel like we are not qualified for this 'job' of parenting. You want a manual for parenting?? The Bible. Yep, you read that right. The only one who is completely qualified to raise these wonderful blessings is God. He is all the help we need; we just have to be humble enough to go to him for answers. God is the one who placed those wonderful tiny humans with us for a short time, and He wants us to succeed. Stay tuned for Part TWO… -Sierra

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